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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26748898">I'm Starting To Realize I Love You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wealthywetsunny/pseuds/Wealthywetsunny'>Wealthywetsunny</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Far Cry 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Developing Relationship, F/M, Forced Baptism, Forced Marriage, Kidnapping, Soft!John, Suspicions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:54:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,627</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26748898</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wealthywetsunny/pseuds/Wealthywetsunny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>John befriends deputy Rook before the reaping, that's all they are, friends. Or so John thought. Because when he falls in love he falls hard, and it's only once things kick off that realizes he's in love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>John Seed/Original Character(s), John Seed/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'm Starting To Realize I Love You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The first day he arrives in Hope County with his family in tow could’ve been better. That’s what he’ll say a few years down the line when he can laugh at the whole situation. At the moment though, all he can say is it’s a goddamn mess. Worse than even Jacob assumed when he voiced his thoughts. The land they thought they had purchased wasn’t yet ready to be handed off to them. There’s still paperwork for John to do despite him believing he had signed what he needed to, and the homeowners didn’t have everything in order on their end, hence, nowhere for their flock to go. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Joseph, by some miracle, finds someplace in the mountains up north to settle down for the moment. A small patch of forest that is, as far as they know, public property. At least no one comes complaining for them to pack up and go somewhere else. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s hard to keep himself clean living out of a bus and the occasional tent, waiting for the papers to go through so they can start building somewhere more permanent. He doesn’t look good, sickly even, when he catches a glimpse of his reflection in a nearby pond. Which makes it even more difficult for John to make a good impression. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A fresh start sounded appealing back in Atlanta, but now even more so, when the prospect is right in front of him and all the possibilities are spread out before him. Which is why he can’t go out looking dirty and ungroomed. His clothes are wrinkled and loose—he’s lost weight being outside the city—and his hair is growing too long. Curling by the nape of his neck and needing to be tucked behind his ears. So as much as Joseph implores him to go out with Jacob into town on the few and far between shopping trips, John adamantly refuses. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not until they have proper rights to their land, a tiny thing five miles from where they initially set up camp, right by the river that separates the Whitetail mountains and the Henbane, that John makes the trek to say hello to the neighbors. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A loose term, considering they’re not really near anyone, but it’s one John uses all the same as he goes around introducing himself. They’re...different. Not the kind of people John is used to, they’re not the refined Ivy League graduates from his law firm, nor are they the country rednecks John grew up surrounded by until he was a toddler.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The deputies that welcome him into their department with beaming smiles are probably his most favorite group that he meets. The right balance of proper and casual. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Pratt and Hudson make a pair, that’s for sure. They talk his ear off about all sorts of nonsensical things and John realizes he doesn’t miss his college days. They’re all young and green. Bright eyed, bushy tailed, it gives John a bit of a headache until another deputy pops his head around the corner, Slaton, he says his name is, and offers a cup of coffee. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Slaton is older, probably somewhere around Joseph’s age, he’s got a relaxed way about him as he hands over a steaming mug. He’s confident in his craft and John can respect that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The rookie on the other hand…she’s something else. He bumps into her, quite literally, on his way out. Whitehorse is calling after him to have a nice rest of his day, the receptionist is handing a donut off to him and he’s not quite paying attention to the world ahead of him as he shoves the door open. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Jesus!” He jumps back nearly a foot, surprise coloring his voice as he swivels around to see what had gotten in his path. The woman in front of him has eyes that glisten when she recoils at his harsh tone. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“S-Sorry, sir. I wasn’t looking where I was going…” she tapers off, blinking wearily up at him. “Cassandra Rook, uh, deputy Rook, I suppose.” She glances back behind him, waving at someone he doesn’t care to look at. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, that’s quite alright.” He tugs at his coat, pulling it closer to his torso as he regards her. “I thought I met all the deputies, didn’t mean to leave you out.” He raises an eyebrow, waits for some kind of an explanation. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh! Yeah, yes, I’m new.” A nervous laugh bubbles it’s way up from her throat and John has to suppress the urge to </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually </span>
  </em>
  <span>laugh at just how much of a tenderfoot this one is. She can’t be older than 22, just a few years younger than himself, what the hell is she doing here? Expecting to be given a gun and uphold the law? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He nods, extending his hand to shake the same way he did everyone else. “A pleasure, deputy Rook.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She smiles tightly, nearly bouncing on her feet. This time he does laugh. “I should let you go then, you seem eager.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The tips of her ears turn pink as she slips by him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>.0.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Construction is coming along quickly. Their flock and the few friends Joseph’s made with the people at the nearby church are more able bodied than he first assumed. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The church they built isn’t exactly gorgeous. Nothing like Lamb of God or the one in Fall’s End, but it’s enough to create a stir within the community. Someplace for the locals who don’t want to make the commute all the way down in the Valley. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their houses on the other hand...well they look…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Like total shit. Who the fuck was supposed to be in charge of this?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ahh,” John scratches the nape of his neck. Glancing away from Jacob as he rips into the haphazard shack barely standing in front of them. “It was a group effort.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d be shocked if the wind doesn’t blow it over. Christ. Tear it down, we’ve got a lot of people to house, they ain’t sleeping in that shit hole.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John nods his approval to his brother's word, stepping back so Jacob can bark out orders like he’s good at. He gives him space to work, wandering instead over to where Joseph is speaking to a group of people he’s never seen before. Not a surprise though, even being here a little over two weeks he doesn’t know half the people in the county, much less the mountains. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They’re old though, parents maybe, who have lived here all their lives and plan on giving their land to their kids. It’s strange then that his brother, at least twenty years younger than those in front of him, can enchant them so easily. Like it’s second nature. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John comes around behind him, clapping him on the shoulder as he does so. Joseph’s flow of speech pauses briefly as he flashes John a smile. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John doesn’t introduce himself, instead lets his brother speak as he overlooks their temporary homeland. It’s only once a few of them walk off that John feels comfortable enough to steal his brother away to talk. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve been looking around the county—I should’ve bought a map—but I found this beautiful place in the Valley.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Joseph smiles at him, eyebrows raising. “And you found somewhere you’d like to call home?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes. Exactly. I’m planning on speaking to the owners of the land later today.” He pauses, glancing at the work going on around them. “That is if you don’t need me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Joseph nods, looking around, probably seeing if they’re well off enough to take away a potential extra hand. He’s about to speak when Jacob interrupts him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Leave.” Jacob cuffs John around the back of the head the way he used to do to Joseph when they were kids. “You’re no use here anyway, city boy.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John stares incredulously at Jacob as he keeps on walking, jamming a cigarette between chapped lips and flicking a light that struggles to catch. He tries looking at Joseph, but he’s staring at where Jacob has gone, the hint of a smile on his lips. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John can’t help but laugh, it seems like their brother didn’t lose his humor. Even after the way he still wakes screaming and how he sometimes looks off into the distance without hearing anything. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And Jacob,” Joseph calls, “we talked about the cigarettes…” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jacob half turns and just waves his hand dismissively, “only my third one today. M’doing good.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John steps away before Joseph goes off on one of his rants, pulling on a jacket as he goes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>*****</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The people who currently own the plot of land he wants to build on aren’t looking to sell. Which is stupid. It’s empty. Not to mention miles away from where they actually live. They aren’t even using it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John tries to explain that he doesn’t have someplace to live right now, which is half true, but he’s getting tired sleeping out of a bus.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They don’t care. They tell him he should’ve thought about that before he packed up and moved. That he’s too old to make such impulsive, frivolous choices. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John leaves in a huff. He’s only 25. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He gets in his car, phone directing him towards a tiny town located in the middle of Holland Valley called Fall’s End. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s tiny and quaint. Quiet too, save for a dog barking somewhere nearby. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He parks in the lot of what he assumes to be a bar and prays that none of their flock will come this far today. He doesn’t need Joseph to think he’s come all the way out here for a drink. It’d be appreciated though, after the conversation he’s just had. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Instead he meanders over to the church, remembers that Joseph had stopped by a few days ago to meet with the pastor that John can’t quite recall the name of. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He hesitates at the top of the steps, listening closely for any sound, and pushes opens the door when he comes up empty. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There are a few people lining the pews sporadically, heads tipped in quiet prayers. Only a few look up at him, one even smiles in greeting. John’s eyes wander until he spots the man in charge, dressed in a black robe and talking to one of the deputies. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Pratt. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’s not in uniform, but the woman standing beside him is. Deputy Rook. The newbie. He can’t imagine crime being all that prevalent around here, he’d have to guess that she hasn’t had much training at all. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He walks up the aisle with his thumbs hooked into his pockets, smiling softly when Cassandra glances up and spots him. Carefully she steps out from whatever conversation the pastor and Pratt are having to say hello.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Deputy Rook, I didn’t realize you were religious.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, no, I'm not...I mean...not really.” She chuckles softly, “but I just got off work and Pratt wanted to stop by.” She nods her head back over her shoulder to indicate her partner. “You are though? Christian?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John nods, breath held in his throat for what she might say. Which is stupid, considering she wasn’t in Georgia when the cops started to grow suspicious of them and wanted them gone. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My brother is a preacher,” he tries nervously, “we’re building a church up North.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“North?” She seems to perk up at his words, smiling at him brightly. “You live in the Whitetails? God, it’s beautiful up there, I’d give anything to live there, I’ll have to come visit you sometime.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John shrugs, lips twisting at the thought of her seeing a clumsy, half built camp. “Are home isn’t quite done...I’d prefer if you’d see it when it’s finished. Besides, I was thinking of moving down here actually, renovations should start soon, hopefully, once I find contractors...and land to build on. I suppose I’ll have to throw a housewarming party. Invite the whole county.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cassandra, for what it’s worth, takes his words in stride. She doesn’t blink an eye at the fact that he’s building his own house along with a church, nor does she ask about the group of people she no doubt heard about traipsing through the county. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Almost everyone knows of his family now. He guesses not many people do what his siblings have done. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She’s shockingly polite about it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So your brother’s a preacher, what do you do?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m a property lawyer. I was hoping to buy some land to farm on, maybe get a dock and a boat…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She laughs, but not at him, “you’re a big dreamer, John.” She looks over at Pratt who gives her a nod—ready to leave then—and she turns back to flash a smile at him, “I wish you luck.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John grimaces as she leaves. He’ll need it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>.0.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A blind date.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What a horrible fucking idea. He doesn’t even have a goddamn proper house to host someone. More like a cabin, which Jacob had been entirely too enthusiastic about. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I feel like shit.” He tugs at his vest, it’s wrinkled, he can’t find his iron and their second hand washing machine is shit. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You look fine, John.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He very nearly rolls his eyes, but Joseph is only trying to help. Sometimes he tries too hard, him and Jacob both. John believes that his brothers still feel guilty for what happened to him. Stupid, when they all went through hell. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where are you meant to meet her?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fall’s End. Supposed to be a fishing spot nearby.” He doesn’t mention that they’re initially meeting at a bar in town, through a mutual acquaintance, the bar hand and apparently, a matchmaker. A little Cupid who wants to mess around in people’s lives. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John would like to blame Mary May, but he didn’t have to agree to this. He can lie and say he’s trying to build a rapport to make things easier for Eden’s Gate in the future. This is all him though. He wants this. He’d like to get out of this makeshift home for a while, to clear his head of all that legal jargon that’s keeping his family afloat at the moment as they attempt to buy a small chunk of farmland for crops in the Henbane.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A taste of normalcy would be nice. Anything to remind him of Atlanta. Before Joseph found him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John checks his watch and breathes out an uneasy puff of air. “Alright. I’ll be back home tonight, in time for dinner.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Joseph smiles at that. “Thank you. That’ll be nice for us, I think.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Joseph doesn’t need to say it aloud, but it’s clear how important family dinners are to him. Anytime they get to sit down together and just talk, take time to catch up and eat a nice meal—it makes Joseph happy. The same can’t be said for Jacob, he’s got a tough shell hardened by his years of suffering. John thinks though, maybe with enough time spent by their side, that Jacob will crack. So if John has to leave his blind date a little early on the off chance that maybe one day he’ll get a genuine smile out of their other brother, then it’ll be worth it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>*****</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Deputy Rook—Cassandra he should probably call her that now—looks very different when she’s not in uniform. Very pretty, for one, which he doesn’t hesitate in telling her when he first spots her walking into the Spread Eagle. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She flushes red, looking away anxiously and it becomes shockingly clear that while John is very much in his element, Cassandra is not. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And so he cups his chin and raises an eyebrow at her, waiting for any sort of indication that she wants this to continue. She laughs, “sorry, you, uh, you look good too.” She eyes him, sweeping her gaze down the length of his body on the barstool. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Perhaps too good to be in this sleazy place?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John hears Mary May scoff from across the bar. He doesn’t care if he offended her quite honestly. If he gets his way then her bar will be torn down within the next couple of months. Drinking isn’t allowed within the project and once he owns this town he won’t want a reminder of sin. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cassandra takes it in stride though, seeming amused. “Definitely. Come on, I know somewhere that’ll compliment your...style. Something more serene, but sophisticated.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John feels like he should be offended. But he doesn’t say anything, just scoots off the barstool and follows her out. He offers to drive, doesn’t see her car anywhere and hazards to ask where she lives. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When she answers, looking so bashful in the dropping sun, he tries not to think about the fact that this can’t last forever. He can’t have relations with a cop. Friend or something more, it doesn’t matter. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“With some friends, Nick and Kim, have you met them?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have. Sweet couple.” And, fingers crossed, people who weren’t actually lying when they said they wanted to see John again. They were hospitable, and the husband likes to </span>
  <em>
    <span>fly. </span>
  </em>
  <span>John couldn’t be anymore blessed. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. They’re, uh, don’t tell anyone it’s supposed to be a secret still, but they’re expecting. So y'know, I should probably find someplace else before the baby comes along.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John raises an eyebrow, glancing over at her in the passenger seat. “Any reason why that can’t be public knowledge?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“They want to throw a party. A barbecue? I think that’s what Nick said, so for now, no one knows.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He lets the conversation drop and Cassandra directs him the whole way to wherever she thinks will ‘suit’ him. They take winding turns through the Valley until he has to force his car up a sloping hill. It offers a vast view of the entirety of Hope when they climb out, and John can’t help but let his mind wander to the possibilities this fresh start offers. For the first time in a while he feels...content </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She follows his gaze as they lean against the hood of his car. “Pretty, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.” He swallows, his throat dry. “Very different from home.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She leans into his shoulder, peering up at him. “Good different?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He pauses at that, unsure how to answer. He actually doesn’t know yet. They’re walking on eggshells, trying not to raise suspicions, and so for now it’s nice, but that can change so quickly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t trust his voice, and so he just grunts. Cassandra tells him that the sunset is beautiful in the county.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll take your word for it, but I promised my brother I’d be home for dinner. We can take a walk before then?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“A walk sounds lovely.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not easy to take an impromptu hike through the Montana wilderness, he’s not prepared for this. He doesn’t have the right shoes or the right outfit, but Cassandra is smiling. Laughing every time he trips and swats at a rogue bug intent on landing on his face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He ends it by giving her his number, finds that having a few friends will do him some good, and gets back ‘home’ just in time for dinner. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>.0.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The barbecue takes place just around the time Kim starts to show. A month later, and in that time he starts to think of Cassandra as a friend. She brought him into the fold of her own little group among Nick, Kim and her employees. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Deputy Hudson doesn’t like him that much. Calls him a womanizer. A player. As if he came to Hope county just to fool around. She says that John is looking for a heart to break, even has the gall to say that Cassandra ought to be careful while John was standing right there. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry about her. She’s protective.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“She just met you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cassandra laughs, a hand on his bicep, “that’s not true. I’m new to the department but I grew up here. Joey and I went to the same high school.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He hums, rocking on his heels as he watches Joey walk away to bother someone else.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sure you understand,” she taps his arm and points across the yard. “Your brothers haven’t taken their eyes off you since you got here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sure enough when John turns he sees Joseph and Jacob standing off to the side, scanning the yard. As if John will disappear if they take their eyes off him. It comes out of a place of loyalty, of care and love, and it makes John smile. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. I understand, I suppose.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Introduce me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He startles, turning back to her, “what?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on.” She places her hand in his and starts tugging him forward. Towards his family. Joseph at least pretends that he doesn’t realize they’re coming, but Jacob is glaring at them as they approach. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It makes John more nervous then it should. He wants their approval. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Brothers,” he releases Cassie’s hand and gives her a gentle shove forward. “This is Cassandra.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Your girlfriend?” Jacob asks, arms over his chest. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cassandra laughs, cheeks burning red as she glances up at John. “No. I mean, we went on a date, but we’re just friends.” She’s still looking at him, smiling widely with a twinkle in her eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s nice, being looked at with such fondness. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cassie does good with his brothers, she doesn’t seem to mind Jacob’s bluntness or how talkative Joseph is about Eden’s Gate. It’s a recruitment, John realizes a little belatedly. He doesn’t mind too much, more concerned with how she’ll take it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Joseph lost his job once because he couldn’t shut his mouth. All because of the voice inside his head and the mission God is sending him on. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Thin ice that he’s walking on, but he keeps speaking animatedly. And Cassie, bless her heart, she smiles at all the right parts and even asks questions to show she’s listening. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She’s a wonderful friend, more than John deserves that’s for sure. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s good for you,” Jacob says when Cassandra steps away to grab a plate of food. “Nice kid. A cop though…” he clicks his tongue, looking real unsure. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. I know. I know.” John waves a dismissive hand and goes to trail off after her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>.0.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John calls Cassie late at night, mildly surprised when she answers on the second ring. She doesn’t owe him anything, they’ve only had one date and she probably only accepted him into her ring of friends out of pity. But he’s lonely. The kind of loneliness that makes his skin tingle and has him itching to reach for a blade or a whip, anything to feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Old habits die hard and all that. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His brothers aren’t with him, Joseph is staying near their flock on a small portion of an island John managed to snag without too much complaint and Jacob is god only knows where. No one is here to help him. To calm his racing thoughts. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cassandra shouldn’t feel obligated to make the trip, but she does anyway, and that makes him feel a tad bit better when she arrives knocking on the door. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t normally invite people home, especially not this late, so forgive me if I’m not the most hospitable as of right now.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John doesn’t mention that his house has only been standing for a month, that he plans to add a hanger for his plane and a porch if Joseph doesn’t put up too much of a fuss, that John hasn’t even had the chance to </span>
  <em>
    <span>consider</span>
  </em>
  <span> inviting someone else over. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Doesn’t matter—he’s positive that she’s taken notice of the newly built ranch where there used to be nothing but grass. He’s sure that she’s also heard the owners call him all sorts of terrible names, that the methods he used weren’t entirely legal. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They just didn’t happen to be as well versed in the law as John is. He wouldn’t take the risk of doing something off the books. It’s not his fault he knows people. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re picky then.” She scans him from head to toe, raising an eyebrow, “color me shocked.” And ouch, she’s laying on the sarcasm thick. Maybe she’s tired, it’s almost 10:00 pm. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no I wouldn’t say that. I just have refined tastes...and I know what I like.” He scans her body, the tank top she must’ve worn to bed that hugs the curve of her hips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John moves to the couch to sit, motioning for her to do the same. She does, much closer than he would’ve first assumed. “Speaking of, would you like any wine?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John just barely had the time to order some more suitable drink and meals before Cassandra came over. Wine being one of them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, sure?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That sounded like a question. You don’t drink?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She shrugs. “Not often. But I trust you.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He likes the sound of that. A deputy trusting him. Someone who could be an informant. That’s what he’ll tell his brothers when they demand for him to stop this. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He gets up to go into the kitchen, reaching up to snag a bottle. “Is white okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah...yeah, whatever you’re drinking.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He comes back with two glasses and the bottle, carefully setting them down on the coffee table and pouring their drinks. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cassandra leans back into the couch, and when he hands off her drink he gets close enough to see the bags under her eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So, tell me more about yourself Cassandra, what is it that Hope county’s finest gets up to?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She huffs, rolling her eyes as she takes a sip. “Nothing interesting really, or unusual for Hope. Y’know, fishing, jogging, sometimes hunting.” She scrunches up her nose and tilts her head. “Kinda boring.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He swallows around a mouthful of wine, shaking his head as he reaches out to settle a hand on the curve of her knee. “No! No, not at all, my dear. Those hobbies are unique in my eyes, and those of my brother’s flock. Georgia and Montana are different.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So you said. So what do you do then? When you’re not swooping up land left and right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John winces, looking away to show some sort of humility. He ignores the tension in his body and the beads of sweat that stick to the nape of his neck. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You noticed that?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Everyone’s noticed it. Your family is the talk of the town. You’ve got a church, a ranch, a whole gated community! You Seeds really know how to shoot for the stars.” She giggles, girlish and airy, and John can relax again. She’s not scared away by his family, or him, she’s not about to run. She’s his friend. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Like I said, I trust you, John.” She reaches down to lay her hand over his where it’s still resting on her knee. Her thumb swipes back and forth, as soothing as he’s felt in such a long time. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He likes it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He likes </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Cassandra.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Cassie. Call me Cassie.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>.0.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cassandra calls him when the silos start to pop up around the county. He lets them go to voicemail. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She calls again, tries to, when John buys the Veteran Center and all sorts of people come into the county to come fix the place up. Shipments arrive of large cages, fences to erect, cameras to pack around the forest and surrounding area. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She comes to visit him when John buys the entirety of the center island, forcing out everyone who owned land there. Forging signatures, threatening the ones who wouldn’t go quietly and blackmailing those who still didn’t get the message.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Apparently the sheriff's department has been getting a lot more calls then they’re used to. But everything John’s been doing is legal, all the paperwork is in place. He’s made sure of it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She’s banging on the door—he’s in Joseph’s compound, helping their flock put beds together in one of the houses—and he’s not too sure who told her where to find him. He’ll have to quicken the process of putting up fencing around the compound. Screw the Vet Center, this is a problem, having her stroll in. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He smiles apologetically at everyone, moving to slip out of the house where he comes chest to chest with her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Cassie. Hey…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She’s dressed in uniform, a hand on her service weapon. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“These people have licenses for their guns?” Sher jerks her head around to the people pacing the perimeter, checking and rechecking that no threat comes through. Yet she’s here...fucking hell.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course, deputy. Though you’re welcome to check.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She smiles tightly, glancing around to find several pairs of eyes on them. “John, is there somewhere we can talk in private?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sighs, rubbing at his brow. He really wants to finish furnishing these houses today. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure, follow me.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She trails along beside him, their shoulders brushing occasionally as they walk. Along the way they pass Joseph, and thank the lord above but his brother looks up from the group of people he’s talking to and sees John. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’s quick to rush over and yet he doesn’t make it look </span>
  <em>
    <span>rushed</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Cutting off their path and forcing them to come to an abrupt stop. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There’s a young woman trailing along behind his brother, one who sat with them for dinner a few nights ago. She’s got brown hair to match Joseph’s and intuitive eyes. She’s only three inches smaller than John, but the way she holds herself makes her seem just as large as Jacob. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John likes her immediately. He just didn’t expect a new one so soon, the last Faith barely left a mark. So few people outside of their commune even knew that she existed. John’s partly to blame for that, got them both in trouble when they fooled around, wouldn’t look good for Eden’s Gate if word got out that John fucked his supposed sister. Except they weren’t related, John brought up that again and again to Joseph but he didn’t care. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Now they have someone new. She introduces herself as Sam, taking Cassandra's attention away for a blessed moment. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ma’am, deputy Rook, pleasure to meet you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sam raises an eyebrow, mouth opening in shock. “Is there a problem officer?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just something I need to discuss with John.” She glances up to Joseph, “I was actually hoping to speak to you too, Father Seed, if you don’t mind coming with us.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sam purses her lips, stepping away as Cassandra motions for John to continue leading them. He takes them to the church naturally, no one would bother the Father and his Baptist without knocking first. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And John has no clue what this is about, it’s safer. With everything going on, it could be anything. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Once behind closed doors, it all comes spilling out. Her anger. Her </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrath</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It’s the first time he sees her sin and he doesn’t know why he hadn’t seen it earlier. It’s so clear now. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She accuses him of lying, of manipulating her. Which is fine, it’s sort of true. He had omitted the truth when she asked what Eden’s Gate was planning. When she asked why people seemed so afraid. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wanted to answer her, but his loyalty to his family was above that. Maybe one day she’ll understand.’</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Darling, just calm down.” He raises his hands placatingly, reaching out to touch his shoulder. “We aren’t doing anything wrong here, deputy. I’ve said that before.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No.” She jabs a finger in his face. “If you’re any kind of friend at all then you’ll tell me the truth. If you do, no matter what it is, I’ll stay. But if you lie to me, and lord knows you’ve done that the last time I asked what the fuck is going on—I’m gone. You lie to me and you will </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> see my face again.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John blinks at her. He ignores Joseph’s hand on his back and just stares at her. Fuming and mad and ready to tear his head off. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let me show you inside Eden’s Gate,” he offers gently. His voice breaks and there’s no way she doesn’t notice. “Come to a baptism, or—or one of Joseph’s sermons. You can see what we are, what’s behind the curtain. No lies. I promise, you’re too important.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She laughs, raising a hand to tangle anxiously in her hair. “Right. ‘Cause we’re friends, yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Dumbly he nods. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You were friends with Mary May, and last week you used low ball intimidation tactics to make her shut down her bar.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John tries to cut her off but she keeps going. Shifting her focus to Joseph. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And you! You walked into Fall’s End and stole Jerome’s flock away. You took his fucking church!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John hears Joseph inhale softly behind him, as if he’s about to speak, John holds up his hand, stopping him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So forgive me if I don’t believe you won’t roll out the red carpet when I show up.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John sighs. Lacing his fingers together in front of him. He’s quiet for a while, thinking things through as she glares at the both of them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How about this?” He starts, lips curling in a half smile, “how about you come to a baptism whenever you want? You don’t have to tell me in advance, just show up, that way I won’t have anything planned to deceive you, deputy. You can see what Eden’s Gate does and you can decide for yourself how you feel instead of listening to everyone else.” He tips his head at her, properly satisfied. “Deal?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Deal.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>*****</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John makes very sure that everyone attending the baptisms from there on out are wearing formal baptismal robes. Everyone dressed in white. It’s a nice change from the usual dirty clothes their encouraged converts sport. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The crying can’t be helped. Nor can the fear in their eyes. He does tone the bliss down, so the rings of smoke are no longer curling up out of the water. It makes the whole thing less suspicious. John’s done what he can to assuage Cassandra’s fear whenever she shows up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Which turns out to be three weeks later. When John is tired and hungry and the chilled water is only ruining his mood further. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cassandra points out the guns first, and the machetes. Looking unsure as she climbs out of her car and calls out to him where he stands in the shallow edges of the lake. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>have a license for that gun, John?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sighs, wading over to her until he’s back on solid ground. He tucks his revolver in the back of his jeans. “Not again, deputy. I thought we spoke of this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Barely.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her arms fold across her chest as she regards him. “I’ll let it drop for now. Go on and start, I don’t want to hold you up.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John smiles at her, going back into the lake and motioning for the first person to be brought forward. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cassandra hates it. John can tell. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The crying probably bothers her. Along with the whimpers and pleas of the people who beg for John’s mercy. He doesn’t hurt them, simply tips them back into the water like always. He isn’t sure why they’re so afraid of him, he’s rarely ever injured someone at a baptism. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’s on edge the whole time, maybe the converts feel that. They’re extra careful tonight. Except for one. One idiot who goes to run—like the men holding him back aren’t stronger and armed. He dares to embarrass John in front of Cassie. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John tackles the man, they both go down and John ends up straddling his waist. Holding him down until Cassie screams his name.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He glances over his shoulder, scowling at the interruption. “What?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let him up!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Cassie, this is just—“</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s near torture. Let him up, John.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He disregards the watchful eyes of his guards. Waiting for his next move. He gets off of the man slowly, flicking his hands free of water. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s routine,” he explains, stalking towards her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“John…” she shakes her head, looking away, off at her parked car. “I want to leave.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He nods. Jaw clenched. Things will get very, very bad if he holds her here. She’s only doubtful, not afraid. Right? He isn’t sure, but he doesn’t want to ruin things. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course. Go ahead, darling.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>.0.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cassie hasn’t spoken to him in a while. If he had to guess, the last straw was probably what he did to Nick and Kim. Among the other things. Like their baptisms filled with guns and bliss (something John had to lie very hard about when the cops came around) and the few charges piling up against Eden’s Gate about kidnapping. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>All bullshit. The people who left their family to join the project are all adults who left on their own free will. Including Sam. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Faith. Such a pretty name, she wears it well. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And John...well, he has bigger fish to fry, people he needs to meet at his bunker for the first round of confessions. He shouldn’t be meddling with peoples’ lives, but Nick and Kim have been so terribly rude. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Refusing his offer the way they did. Going as far as to call him crazy just for looking out for them, giving them a spot in his bunker. That’s where all the mothers, expectant or not, and children will go when things kick off. They’re his friends! And they spit in his face. So he spread the rumors, told everyone that Kim wasn’t the loyal lady everyone believed her to be. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That’s around the time he stopped seeing Cassie, or receiving calls. She won’t pick up anymore.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It shouldn’t matter, not when he knew this thing couldn’t last. Faith had been getting cozy with one of the other deputies, just friends she reassured them, but Joseph voiced his displeasure very loudly all the same. It wasn’t safe. Having cops so near when something related to the project could slip. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It shouldn’t matter. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Except…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Except it feels like...</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Feels </span>
  <em>
    <span>as if</span>
  </em>
  <span>...</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As if his heart has been ripped out. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Crushed </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shattered </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Into pieces. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It shouldn’t matter that Cassie is no longer in his life. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But it does. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It matters because he loves her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>*****</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John hasn’t told his family what he’s doing today. Jacob and him are supposed to meet up for lunch at the Veteran Center, a nice way to celebrate the finished build. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’s going to be late. He texts Jacob that and gets a simple ‘k’ in return. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’s sat outside her house in a black SUV that isn’t nearly as identifiable as the white trucks Eden’s Gates has become known for. Unlike him she was able to find housing relatively easily after moving out of Nick and Kim’s, he had a hand in that though. Buying up all the land and allowing her to take her own chunk for a while. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She won’t need it soon. They’ll live under the same roof. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cassie comes out an hour later, he gets lucky in that regard, she can’t skip work just because she fears what’s going on outside. She’s supposed to be the fearless one, the one who protects everyone else. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She looks good in her uniform, hair held in a loose bun with strands hanging in her eyes. His breath catches in his throat at the sight and once more he realizes that he’s in love. Distance does make the heart grow fonder it seems. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John steps out and smiles when her head snaps up towards him. She’s caught. Too far to run back to her house and too far to reach her car. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Cassie.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t call me that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He pouts, sauntering over with thumbs hooked in his pockets. “Darling, don’t be like that, come on. Talk to me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She shakes her head, fingers clutching tighter around her keys. “No. There’s nothing to talk </span>
  <em>
    <span>about</span>
  </em>
  <span>, John.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sighs, rubbing his beard. He’s close enough now that he doesn’t need to raise his voice to be heard. Nor does she. He wants to reach out. To touch her, to feel the warmth of her skin on his like before. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s too soon though. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Cassandra…don’t be like that. We live very close; we may as well be civil.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She scoffs, closing the gap between her car as she yanks it open. He rushes forward, a hand on the door to slam it shut. Her nostrils flare, anger flashing through her eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I need to go to work.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I remember you missing work for me once before.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because you were hurt! You—you cut yourself.” Her eyes dart down and he sees the way they soften when they land on his chest. Scarred and still healing. “Someone needed to help, I couldn’t leave you there bleeding and c-crying…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John is able to get closer in the time they’re talking. He’s in her personal space now. Close enough to smell her perfume. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He eyes her skeptically when she jerks back. Surprise in her face like she didn’t realize what she had been doing. That for a moment they were friends again. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t talk, John, really. Not with everything that’s going on.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s going on?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cassandra looks back at her house, then down at the ground. She worries her lip between her teeth for a few seconds before finally speaking up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There are a lot of charges against your brother. Joseph,” she mumbles, “it’s getting hard to ignore. I should go.” She pulls his hand off her car door, a signal that he should go. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t want to. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He isn’t going to. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John fumbles in the back of his pocket for the vial of bliss he brought with him. Took a lot of bribing for Faith to give it to him without asking questions and without telling anyone. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a simple twist of his wrist to get the cork off the vial. Another small shove forward and Cassandra is pinned against his body and the car. She tries to scream, but he clamps a hand over her mouth and dumps the bliss across her face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She goes slack in his arms immediately, he’ll have to thank Faith later. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>*****</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What the fuck is this?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John’s lip twitches, pointedly not looking in the rear view mirror. “Don’t worry about it.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jacob sighs loudly, turning back around in his seat. “That your girlfriend? Cassandra?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mhm.” He's grinding his teeth now. Anxiety twisting in his stomach. “I’m taking her for her baptism and atonement.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Right. Sure.” Jacob is quiet for a second before asking “why did you have to drag me into this?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Look,” he slams his hand on the wheel, “you said you wanted lunch, so I came for lunch. How was I supposed to know you needed a drive?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jacob laughs and that's the end of that. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He drops Jacob off in the Henbane at some run down gas station. It’s out of his way but he owes his brother. The detour means that by the time he makes it home Cassandra is coming to. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Mumbling under her breath and trying to get out. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re going 60, I wouldn't do that if I were you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Surprisingly she does stop. Slumping against the window as she attempts to make her eyes focus.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Getting her inside his home is another struggle entirely. He tries to carry her bridal style, figured that would be easier considering that she can hardly get her feet under her, but he’s not strong enough. He almost falls flat on his face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He calls for one of his men to help him, even if it scalds him to have someone else touch her. It only lasts for a few minutes as they get her into his bedroom and lay her down. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John mutters a soft “leave,” to his guard, giving them privacy. He stands back as she struggles within the grasp of the bliss. Her eyes are a milky white, fingers grasping along the bed sheets until she finally goes still with sleep. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Joseph contacts him later that day. When he’s safely secured Cassie to the bed with her handcuffs, he’ll say sorry when she wakes up, find something else to wrap around her skin that won’t chafe. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Joseph isn’t angry, says he figured John must’ve liked this one more. In fact, he almost sounds proud as he speaks about John finding the one meant for him. The one God has given him. It’s an honor. Joseph says they should marry. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Cassie wakes up, John tells her this. She screams at him. Writhes on his bed and calls him every name under the sun. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He gives her more bliss. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Faith helps her into a dress and John picks out his best suit. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s less of a typical ceremony and more of them eloping. And Cassandra is loopy, too out of it to know what’s really happening. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Doesn’t matter. In the name of the law they’re husband and wife. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He waits until she’s lucid before he settles her down for bed and climbs in beside her. She squirms away from him, but she can only go so far. This time he only locked her legs up, he wants her to hold onto him when he fucks her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wants her to want it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>John huddles in closer to her, throwing an arm around her waist and pulling her back into his chest. She’s warm and heavy with fatigue. Whining low in her throat when his hand strays low enough to brush over her navel. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“John. Please, don’t.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He smiles at the sound of his name on her lips. He kisses her behind her ear. “I won’t force you, my dear, that’s not the kind of man I am. When you come to me, it’ll be of your own volition. You’ll cum screaming my name, begging for more. It’s only a matter of time.”</span>
</p>
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